My Pathetic Life, or, Why I'm Watching MLS and Not Writing My Paper

I have no motivation for my paper, so am completely refusing to work on it. It makes perfect sense to me. I can write four pages, go to A Midsummer Night's Dream, work on math, and go to physics office hours Saturday and Sunday, no problem there. Since Bobby Flay is annoying me tonight, he generally does that when he's on any show besides ICA, there's nothing on that interests me, so I'm watching Major League Soccer. And really, whoever chose the uniforms for FC Dallas needs to be tortured in multiple ways, the rack will be involved as will the iron maiden, but other instruments subject to change, drawn, quartered, cut down while still alive, and burnt to death. Unless he's blind or idiotic, there's no way the uniform decision was made for any reason besides the fact that this man MUST be a sadist. Who else would force some rather decent looking people to wear ON NATIONAL TELEVISION the most hideous uniforms ever. Horizontal stripes of red and white with blue stripes down the sleeves paired with red shorts and socks. If he's trying to make me gouge my eyes out, he's made a good start. On the bright side, the ESPN clock works like the international clock. Whoa, that was a thigh flash from one of the LA Galaxy players, I think I saw the bottom of the hip bone. Anyway, I don't know what channel it was, but a while ago flipping channels, I saw a game with 43:07 and the clock in the second half and thought, "Oh, ok, game's almost over unless there's stoppage time." But NO, this crazy channel was counting DOWN from 45:00, not counting up to it. Totally messed with my mind. While they are fairly attractive, and well-toned, or Britishly, a bit of all right, one must question the intelligence of these players, especially after all those headers. And I think I'm going to be up really late tomorrow, so I might as well go to bed now. Oh, GOD, just got another close-up of the uniforms, remember LeChiffre and his tears of blood? Yeah, think I'm pretty close right now.